Just not right

I am not certain that I am right
I bear no scars from a righteous fight
There’s nothing provincial in my diction
I lack political conviction
Don’t have a greased quiff, or tattoos
I shop in Sports Direct for shoes
I don’t have a lisp or a funny name
I’m just not right for the poetry game

I don’t wear a scarf or a funny hat
I don’t have a cute name for my cat
I’ve never wowed a trendy club
With a fusion of reggae, folk and dub
Perhaps I’m lacking in ambition
I’m not recovering from addiction
I don’t have a lisp or a funny name
I’m just not right for the poetry game

I don’t have artist's hands, or feet
I live in a suburban street
My house does not have Persian rugs
I do not take exotic drugs
I don't write with a golden pen
On sheets of vellum in my den
I don’t have a lisp or a funny name
I’m just not right for the poetry game

Etcetera