About me

I'm not from the north
I'm not a woman
I'm not working class
I'm not black, I'm not gay
I'm not from any minority
I don't fancy pigeons
I'm not a pagan, or a wican –
I don't practice a religion
But, please – don't ignore me.
I'm not red, I'm not blue
I don't have a tattoo
I don't have a disability –
Apart from invisibility –
I'm an oppressed majority
My hair is fairly short
I don't like most sport
I cry quite easily
So please – don't ignore me.

I can't breathe fire, or juggle –

Usually, I'm no trouble –

I don't go after violent crooks

I return my library books

I know, I'm not on your list
The boxes aren't ticked

I'm a bit of a conformist

I'm not a priority
But please – don't ignore me.

I'm not a war hero. My net worth is zero
I don't have a cheesy smile
I can't run a four-minute mile
I don't wear a hat
Your values won't be under attack
Unless you're a paedophile

I'm not ancient, or a juvenile

I don't have silver cutlery
So please – don't ignore me.



You can if you want! It's up to you. Sometimes, I do wear a hat.