Vote for us

See that woman, isn’t she fat

How dare she go out looking like that

Here is Ed with his Oxford pals

He looks like a toff in top hat and tails

His eyes are crossed, his hair is lank

Like a teller who works in a bank

See him eating a bacon sarny

What a weird expression – he must be barmy

His plans for Britain are a sham

So meet the Camerons, Dave and Sam

With his polo shirts and shiny hair

Dave’s a regular millionaire

A normal guy with a normal wife

Leading the London and Cotswolds life

Don’t vote for Sturgeon or for Wood

Hardship and poverty are good

Good for us and not for you

The silent masses who we screw

Vote for longer waiting lists

And savage cuts to benefits

Vote for more austerity

It’s best for the economy

Ensure that socialists are beaten

By trust fund boys who went to Eton

By non-doms and by hedge fund chaps

And oligarchs in baseball caps

We require servility

So vote to keep them rich and free