The owner of a mighty gland
His seminal fecundity
Recalls the rakes of history
His natural proclivity
For with his beads and tousled hair
Russell is Casanova’s heir
Astride his leather trousered tool
A libertine and jesting fool
He breached the walls of film and rock
And beat all comers with his cock
He’s squired hundreds, it is said
Out of doors and in his bed
Against the wall or in his shed
To Katie Perry he was wed
Jemima, Geri and the rest
Put randy Russell to the test
Fresh-faced Kate Moss, he had her too
Asda were doing three for two
An affront to the world of men
He tickled us with with dick and pen
Russell the revolutionary
R0used the mob to apathy
Speaking on the Paxman show
He attacked the status quo
Russell ruled the red top news
And posted on his blog, the trews
With disarming lucidity
Through page and screen and DVD
He showed us what is to be
A sexual celebrity
Not too old
to rock and roll
He took a
spin in Courtney’s hole
Combining
his prolixity
With
mystical profundity
A million blogs and Tweets he sired
Then to Henley he retired
Now – shocking
news for Essex lad
He’s only
going to be a dad!
His trouser
monster limp and still
He’ll have
a lot of time to fill
Perhaps
Russell will learn to cook
Or write
another bookie wook
Can he show
us that a man’s
More than
the measure of his glans?
By
withdrawing his manhood
And only
screwing those he should?
Will he
leave world of glamour
And lay
aside his velvet hammer?
Merely rely
on punditry
Or trade in
stand-up comedy?
Will he
take himself in hand?
They’re all
as one for Russell Brand –
Satyr, film
star and guru
The monkey
sex god of the zoo
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