Today's manifesto

PM says security services can’t always prevent ‘self-starting, sometimes quite random’ attacks like siege of Lindt cafe

Our efforts in this regard will never cease
I am now proud to announce … the war on peace

From today, let the drums beat loud
Let our hearts swell to the baying crowd

Non-violence is boring. Instead
Let us be locked in spasm of hatred

There will be no place for tranquillity

Let our watchword be hostility

Let us put an end to tolerance

All I am saying is give war a chance

There are no easy answers – fact

But a permanent aggression pact

Will ensure maximum production

And a permanent disruption

Of out-dated civil liberties

Of compassion and civilities

Hark, the enemy is the gate!

Remember, war is the health of the state