Jamie's winners

Jamie Oliver brings together some of Britain's most inspirational individuals [including Alastair Campbell] to see if they can persuade 20 young people who've left school with little to show for the experience to give education a second chance

NB: for non-UK readers Jamie Oliver is a celebrity chef. He's associated with one of the larger supermarket chains

Rich men pretending to be poor
Will take your money on the door
Campbell's lying don't come cheap
His fee would make you flipping weep
I can teach you Estuary
At my Fame Academy

Being a geezer isn't easy
There's an art to be being sleazy
I showed Nigella some new swerves –
How to profit from her curves
Ramsey's f word came from me
At my Fame Academy

How to swear, ’an ’ow to shout
How to get your ya yas out
People who excel at pouting
Chopping vegetables or grouting
Can brush up their skills – you'll see
At my Fame Academy

My school's where Bono ’an his crew
Learned how to swizz the Revenue
I showed Bob Geldoff what to do
I want your fookin’ money too
You can learn hypocricy
At my Fame Academy

Millionaires who drive Rollys Royces
Ask for help with soothing voices
Want to end this pain, they say
Phone this number straight away
Acquire fake sincerity
At my Fame Academy

Rich men pretending to be poor
Will take your money at the door
Allow celebs to travel free
By paying up your licence fee
And donate financially
To my Fame Academy