Mac or Microsoft

Note: the PC people won't like this. A state of conflict has existed between the Mac and PC communities for some time. I invite them to respond – in algorithms. I apologise for the rubbish rhyme in the first stanza.

For Tim

Microsoft is a rickety old train
Rattling along an antique track.
The coffee is scalding, the staff are rude
You can hear the engine puffin’.
Mac is a sleek Pullman –
Cappuccinos, a choice of muffins.

Mac is a stylish after dinner speech
With jokes, delivered without notes.
Microsoft is a manual an inch thick
A lecture, a humourless tirade
From a man in a suit –
The Communists are about to invade.

When Microsoft tries to party.
It gets it wrong; it never can.
Two drinks only, in bed by ten.
It tries to yoke wealth and knowledge.
Mac's an arts graduate
Microsoft did science at college.

Mac wears jeans and a casual shirt
Even on work days. But work;
What is that? It's messing about –
A new video, a great new app. Work is pleasure.
Microsoft makes Gates rich
It puts on its jeans for leisure.

Gotta make Gates some more billions.
Mac inhales and says ... yeh.
It has Polo shirts and floppy hair
The last Windows was crap, buy the next one
To fight the new virus.
A stern warning from the old puritan.

Mac is a sports car zipping along
The Pacific Coast Highway. It's all cool
Until a red light blinks. The engine explodes.
Microsoft drives by. It's an old pick-up.
It's got the right tools but
It drives by. Sorry bro, can't fix you up.