Gaddafi

Mainly, my people are no trouble

They are charming innocent children

It is my destiny to father them

My duty to teach them what is right

Sometimes, I chastise them, like all kids

With electric shocks and beatings at night

The false gods of the west are lures for them –

Education, freedom of speech, liberty –

And they are attracted by the Taliban

The glamour of the Jihad leads them astray

They really know how to party, those guys

With their long beards, drugs and Nescafe

You would like me, my friend, if you knew me

Tony found me a delightful host

In my Arab tent – if slightly flatulent

Tonight, it’s open palace in Tripoli

My grateful people are flocking round

See that guy with a rock – he loves me!

You helped me fill my Swiss account

Sold me your fighters and helicopters

You were kind over the Lockerbie thing

My allies were the far left and the rich

I was a pin-up boy for socialists

Did you know, I was born in a ditch?